I love to hear that people read my blog, but I am even more happy when I hear that people are getting something out of it. I know at least one person has been made aware of the lack of institutional support for young adults with cancer (and really, any chronic disease). Others have just learned more about cancer, chemo, and treatment in general. Most importantly, I was told recently on one of my support forums that my blog was the first a woman found when she was looking for experiences on bone marrow biopsies. She told me that my blog made her not so afraid. What a relief! I think if I had read my description of a BMB, I would have demanded my doctor knock me out- with a brick if necessary.
Several people have asked me why I blog. It’s pretty simple- it’s easier for everyone in my life to all be on the same page on what’s going on with me. It’s hard for me to answer when people ask how I’m doing. I know most people really mean it- it’s not just some thing that they’re saying. On the other hand, my baseline for doing OK is different than the average person’s. I don’t want to go too into my tummy troubles or the peripheral neuropathy or whathaveyou on unsuspecting coworkers when they just want to have something to say when they pass by my desk.
I haven’t done such a great job at keeping this up lately.
So I hope you can learn something or share with people who can. Cancer is this great unknown for many people, even when you have family and friends who go through it. I’m lucky that this happened to me in an age where it’s socially acceptable to broadcast on the internet to all of your friends, family, coworkers, and complete and utter strangers exactly what’s happening to you.
I can also see what Google searches produce my blog. I hope those of you looking for “Grey’s Anatomy scans”, “is my own boyfriend poisoning me and if so than what are the symptoms”, and “suck it cancer” found what you are looking for. I also know that an awful lot of you haven’t been bookmarking my blog. Allie Morse cancer is the most searched topic that leads people here. “I’m also glad to see quite a few people are find this blog through the iy blogroll (and stay tuned Bostonians/New Englanders- there are big things coming soon with iy Boston, where remission is not a cure). There are some fantastic bloggers there that put me to shame.
In other news, I go my Massachusetts license today – or rather, the flimy piece of paper standing in for the license until I get my actual card next week. It only took about 4 hours at the DMV, half an hour of which involved trying to figure out if I should check the “organ donor box”.
Little known fact- the only organ or tissue I can donate is my corneas. Gross, huh? I can’t even donate blood ever again because my defective DNA might cause lymphoma to pop up in some poor hemophiliac. It’s not the Haitians, heroin users, or homosexuals you need to worry about, it’s ME. So before I checked the box, I wanted to make sure that’s the proper protocol for someone in my situation. Perhaps that was too complicated of a question to ask. It caused a whole firestorm of managers and phone calls. I’m a bit surprised it’s never come before. But yes, the box is checked and my corneas are ready for the taking.
And now, after almost 5 years, I’m officially a registered voter in Mass. Bye bye, absentee ballots that probably get tossed out because of the party affiliation.
I’ll be sucking it up, taking the plunge, and buying a car within the next month or so. I’m pretty angsty about it. Cars themselves are expensive, gas is REALLY expensive, and Massachusetts makes owning a car really really really expensive. Add in Massachusetts drivers (who are generally out of state drivers overcompensating for rumors) and my general fear of driving and it’s a little terrifying. At least my street is wide and has TONS of parking so I shouldn’t have a real need to parallel park just yet.
It’s not the cancer that will kill me, it’s the Allie behind the wheel.