We left off somewhere with the ultimate cliffhanger: my “good” PET scan was not clean and OMG is it still cancer? Tune in for next week’s episode.
Next week came and went. And then another week. And another week.
My plan is to seek a second opinion from a Hodgkin’s specialist at Dana Farber. My surgeon and radiologist didn’t seem nearly as concerned as my oncologist, which makes me feel a little better, but even more confused about next steps. There is just so much research and scheduling to do in order to pick the right doctor (and not just pick the lymphoma specialist who went to my alma mater because that means I trust him more), make sure my records are all transferred (or not? I don’t understand Partners), schedule an appointment, get the guts to drive to Dana Farber, yadda yadda yadda.
I’m just exhausted of all of this cancer shit. Until you have gone through it, you cannot imagine how mentally exhausting it is to deal with the whole back-end of cancer. Yes, chemo and surgeries are crap. All of the scheduling and decision making? About 1000 times worse. Pile on a full time job, school, volunteering, and trying to have a semblance of a social life and it just seems impossible.
It will happen. For right now, I just need to live in the moment. I know many of you have been asking about what’s going on and that’s just the best answer I can give you.