I’ve been holding off on this post because of a particularly nasty relapse scare last week – even people who had lymphoma occasionally have lymph nodes swell to the size of marbles and it’s still OK.
So now, after what have been the worst week of my life, things are ok.
It’s been over 6 months since my last chemo. That’s how I mark my remission. There’s no real way of knowing when the cancer cells finally died off in my body, so that last chemo makes sense. I’ll be celebrating by chatting with Kelley Tuthill, herself a 5 year young adult breast cancer survivor, from WCVB-TV Boston (Channel 5).
6 months seems like a long time. A lot has changed. I started an MBA in healthcare management (and got an A in my first class!). I moved out of my rathole apartment into an absolutely gorgeous space with 2 fantastic roommates and our 3 cats and a bunch of fish. My pet project at work is taking off in ways I never could have anticipated and I feel incredibly proud and valued for my contributions. I’m getting more involved in my various communities, learning to play the ukulele, cooking again, and feel progress.
In short, I’m lucky.
I keep wanting to write. But for some reason, writing about what has happened to me and giving it a voice makes me feel like it will come back. Call it my cancer OCD.
I’ve stopped telling new people about what happened. I think that’s a big step. There are new coworkers around who have no idea – and I like it that way. Its hard to feel normal when I know that others get concerned every time I’m out of the office. But it’s getting better.
There are at least 6 half-started blog posts. I have so many thoughts… but my life is too busy to gather them. I call that success.